Stories

TYRANNY

(A faceoff of radical Islamic terrorism)

Shanta, who was at the twilight of her long illustrious teaching career, was very busy in preparing breakfast for her only daughter. She was a teacher and she had to reach her school on time. She had not reached late any day to her school in the past so many years. She was an ideal teacher. Everyone respected her. She had taught hundreds of students many of whom had reached to the top administrative positions and had been tasting the flavor of their success. Being an able teacher, she always encouraged the parents to send their children to school and not make them mere laborers. She had helped many of them monetarily too whenever need arose.

It was a Muslim dominated area as usual where she had an ancestral house. In Kashmir Muslims dominated the population. Therefore, everywhere one could see the population having bearded men without moustaches, wearing short Pajamas and a round cap, usually white, which clearly distinguished them from the other minority communities. Here the minority was the Hindu population. In the past many centuries many tribes of Muslim invaders particularly from Afghanistan, had cruelly converted the local Hindu population to Islam, through the tip of their sword from time to time. So the Hindus, popularly known as Pundits, had been reduced to mere 5% as being hundred percent majority once.

Muslims usually had more than five six children in a household and sometimes the count rose from eight to ten, compared to Hindus who had two or three maximum. Muslims never paid full attention towards the education of their children. The ideology was simple. Every member helped in running the family and was thus not considered a burden. There was a little bit of change in those living in cities compared to villages as far as the mindset of Muslim families was concerned. They had now become peculiar in sending their boys to the school but the girls were the worst affected, who did not have the liberty of this sort. This practice was common in cities even. Even if a few Muslim households would think of sending their women folk to school they were criticized by their own community. But for Hindus the case was completely reversed, they had made it mandatory for each and every child of their household to go to school even in villages too.

The area, where Shanta lived, was a Muslim abundant area. Hardly three or four houses of Hindus could be seen there. But the atmosphere was very cordial barring a few incidents when radical Moulvis would try to inject poison of religious bigotry by preaching fundamentalism to the innocent village folk. This peace loving Kashmiri Pundit community would not even complain of any harassment done to them. They would engulf any adversity to avoid any tension. This was the philosophy of a usual Kashmiri Pundit because he loved peace and did not want any tension in his life. He was only busy in bringing up his children in a better way and gave them good education. Shanta had also the same mindset. She had a beautiful daughter Shivani nicknamed Shivi who was studying in class XI and was a topper in her class. One day Shivani asked her why they didn’t shift to a better place in India where they did not have to think of any strike on religious lines, on fundamentalist mindset where they did not have to live in fear. She also disclosed her apprehension about a Muslim boy Kadir who was in her class and lived a few houses away. He would always stare at her. Sometimes he would deliberately try to touch her. Kadir had even expressed his desire to marry Shivi. When she refused he threatened her to forcefully make this happen. She was very worried at this. She told her mother that she was really scared of him and his intentions. But Shanta did not pay any serious attention towards this. She negated by saying that she should not think of any such thing but concentrate on her studies and assured her to talk to Kadir’s father whom she tied Rakhi every year. She was confident that he would counsel his son and stop him. But it was a real concern for her. Throughout the day her daughter's words echoed in her subconscious mind. In the evening that day she talked to her husband. He did not believe his wife's apprehension because he thought that his wife was regarded by all. There was none who would harm their family. And moreover, the boy's father called his wife his sister. Although, Muslims do not keep relationship with anyone for a longer period of time and in full faith, he would come to their house on special occasions. But this thought did not relax him. He too had an apprehension of a bleak situation ahead.

Everywhere people talked of grenade blasts and militant attacks in most parts of the valley. Pundits were abused off and on; their religious places were destroyed and burnt. Their woman folk often shamed and abused. The trust had changed to mistrust. Every Hindu saw almost every Muslim through a militant's goggles. There were strikes every other day followed by closure of shops, road blocks and stone pelting. Directives were coming from mosques. Poison was spread in full flow against Hindus. Situation in the valley was deteriorating. Although, no untoward incidents were directly happening with common Hindus but there was an air of tension all over. Hindus were the most affected. Now the elimination of their leaders had started. Tika Lal Tapiloo was shot in broad day light followed by many prominent Hindu personalities. This was the beginning of the fundamentalist mindset which led to the beginning of militancy in Kashmir. Posters were pasted on the doors and walls of Hindu houses. Threats were written on them. Hindu males were asked to join the Jihad or face the consequences. This was something that Pundits never had thought of. They were still dreaming of the brotherhood between the two communities.

The posters had also appeared on the doors of every Hindu house. She was surprised not because of the write-up but because of the neighborhood that she had approached to apprise them what had happened. But their answer was to follow what was written on the posters. This was disturbing. She had only thought that Hindus and Muslims were the two sides of a coin that could not be separated. She had been teaching brotherhood all her life. But all this philosophy had fallen flat. News of gang rapes and abduction had become common with Kashmiri Hindus. Finally on 19th January 1990. The day arrived when the loudspeakers from almost all the Mosques blared announcing the Pundits to leave the valley leaving behind their woman folk or else be ready for slaughter. This was a great shock for every Hindu in Kashmir. Shanta was nervous. She decided to approach her neighbor Mohammad Ghani, who would call her his sister was her neighbor sharing the same wall. Ghani was right inside his house at that time but his wife, whom Shanta called Bhabhi told her that he was not at home. It was obvious now that there was a nefarious design against Pundits. Shanta could now feel the air of suspicion. She was in doldrums. She was unable to decide what to do. Finally, she decided to flee too.

She rushed back to her house. She was sweating when she entered her house. She pushed open the door and hurriedly closed it from behind. Tears were flowing from her eyes. She was very afraid; her body was trembling with fear. She saw her husband sitting with his daughter near and burst into tears. Her husband stood up and started consoling her. He was perturbed to face the situation and did not know what to do. She was continuously shivering. Her body had become wet. Shivi had meanwhile got some water in a steel tumbler, handed it to her mother. It took Shanta an hour to come to her proper senses and become normal. Then she stood up and told her husband everything what had happened, on whom she had trusted for decades, her neighbor, who called Shanta his sister had refused to even talk leaving aside helping her. Whom she had been continuously tying Rakhi for decades, the pious thread of the Rakhi had probably no meaning now what so ever. He had turned away his face in this hour of need. It was a real astonishment for her as all her hopes of his feelings had been shattered to pieces.

Suddenly the loudspeaker from the nearby mosque bleared saying “Leave Kashmir you Pundits, leaving your womenfolk behind for us”. It was repeated after every five - ten minutes.

“What do they say? Are they going crazy? Don’t they know what they are saying?” These were the words coming out of a wounded poor soul.

They heard a huge crowd out on the street shouting ‘Islam Zindabad, Allah ho Akbar,

we want Pakistan with Pundit women but without Pundit men’. A cold sweat pierced down her spine shivering her whole body. This was not the situation she had dreamt before. They immediately switched off the light of their room. The noise was growing louder and louder till that reached their doorstep. It was so scaring that even her husband grabbed both of them in his arms.

Suddenly there was a tap on their door. They looked at each other. The fear could clearly be seen on their faces. Shanta had become pale. Husband loosened the grip slowly and stepped forward. Meanwhile the tap became frequent and louder. It looked as if they would break open the door. When he unlocked the door and opened it there was a crowd of about hundred men on their door step among whom Kadir also came in. Most of them were not from the area saving Kadir who was looking sheepishly at Shivi licking his lips in lust. Then one among the crowd who seemed to be their leader, was wearing a short Pajama with a black beard on his face without moustaches said, “Pundit, we don’t want you to be here tomorrow. Leave the house and flee. Otherwise you will not see the next day’s Sun, understand.” Kadir tried to step forward at that moment but he was stopped by the person who had issued the orders.

They left shouting slogans again, crossing streets with blazed torches, vandalizing Hindu shops across the street and on and off shouting Pakistan Zindabad and Allah ho Akbar. This was so frightening that all their shouts and slogans were penetrating their hearts. It was such a frightening moment that cannot be forgotten ever. And these moments was becoming very long, so long as if the time had stopped, the earth had forgotten its movement and all the darkness had descended the whole city. There was an air of terror roaming about in the atmosphere. Every Muslim, who called himself an apostle of peace, had now appeared to be a militant and a tyrant, nothing less nothing more. Overnight all the misconception that they had regarding the peace, had evaded from the minds of the Pundits. This was something that Pundits had not predicted beforehand. They only believed that Pundits would only be touched if they did something which the Muslims would think was against their interest.

There was no administration, no policing, no one to stop the mob because the Chief Minister of the state Farooq Abdullah himself had fled to England leaving every Pundit on the mercy of the terrorists, who seemed to be in full control of the situation with all the authority. The local Kashmiries were seen in full swing to help their terrorist brethren. They were guiding them to locate the houses where Pundits were putting up. This was scaring. Every Pundit house was demarcated and a poster had been pasted on their doors to send their males with them for Jihad. This was the ultimate that made the Hindus to flee the valley.

Shanta controlled herself. Now she was composed. She took the decision that they would leave the place immediately as they had no option left.

But how could they find a vehicle that would take them to a safe place. And Jammu was the only nearest option where they could take refuge. This was something unimaginable for the family in general and Shanta in particular who still thought that her decades of hard work as a teacher, would make some difference and the neighbors would not harm her. But her mind did not match her heart. Doubts would reaffirm their calls. She did not want to take any risk with her daughter. She straight away went to the almirah, took all the money out and gave that to her husband and said, “Do something, go and get some Taxi or any conveyance so that Shivi, their daughter, with some precious things, could be shifted to Jammu.”

This was something that only had the meaning at that point of time. “We can build the property again but life cannot be put to risk. What are you waiting for? Why don’t you do something?” she asked her husband. Tears were continuously pouring out of her eyes.

Her husband was also very scared but half heartedly he stood up, dialed some numbers and was finally able to get a taxi on a high fare which was almost two fold than the fare charged for Jammu. He did not make any bargain and told him to come in an hour or so. The Taxi arrived within half an hour; some precious articles were kept in it. He told his wife Shanta to board the taxi with her daughter and he would go in the next trip to Jammu the following day. But Shanta did not agree she told her husband to take their daughter to Jammu immediately and said that she would stay back and take some more articles with her in the next trip. She had full confidence that there were hundreds of her students in the area who would not harm her. This was the confidence that she showed at that time looking back at her long career as a teacher because she thought that a teacher was the most respected person in the Indian history.

“Hire a house there, remain there and send the Taxi back tomorrow. I will keep other goods ready and reach there.” She kissed Shivi and bade them farewell by instructing the driver to take them Safe to their destination.

During the whole night she could not sleep. She didn’t switch on the light but continuously watched the street through the crevices of the window but didn’t dare to open it. She could clearly see their neighbor gossiping suspiciously. They were perhaps ignorant of the developments of Shanta’s house. Perhaps, they did not know that Shanta was all alone there. She wanted to control her fear and talk to them whom she trusted the most.

She recalled the days when they used to come to her for helping their son whom she had taught without making any differences. She called him her own son. Now he had become an engineer and was settled in some foreign country. He would also call on to them whenever he visited his house. She would serve him the best Hindu dishes. He was very fond of the dish ‘fish curry’ specially prepared by Shanta. This is a unique dish prepared by Pundits in Kashmir. Such was the bond between these two houses. On most of the occasions these two families shared many festive celebrations. But that day …………..!!!!

At the break of the dawn there was a deep lull in the atmosphere but as the day advanced further the radicals had started to gather on the front road. It was very scaring for Shanta. There was no trace of any security personal. The total administration had failed. Law and order had crumbled. The crowd had started to raise antinational slogans. Slogans of Pakistan Zindabad and Allah ho Akbar were chanted loudly and repeatedly. Suddenly she saw Kadir approaching towards her house with many other people. They tapped on the door. Shanta did not open it they began to break open it and the door was ripped apart. They vandalized the whole house, threw the things out from the window. They searched each and every place possibly Shivi but when she was not found they dragged Shanta by her hair to the road. She saw her house being burnt and the flames had started to kiss the skies. All her clothes were ripped apart. She was unable to hide her nudity. They did not stop here she was forced to march the street naked. Most of the people in the mob were her students who had studied in her school at different times. As she was marching people clapped and passed comments on Hinduism. They were abusing the Pundit community and smiling at her. There was no one who could raise his voice to stop this.

She was then gang raped several times. The neighborhood was silently witnessing a helpless women crying for help. No one came forward. All the Hindu-Muslim brotherhood had become meaningless. Her cries had vanished into oblivion. The silence of the neighborhood appeared to her a sharp dagger which she could feel penetrating her chest. There were no tears in her eyes. They had long dried up to pour. Shameless radicals had torn apart all humanity and displayed the true colour of Islam. A woman, surrounded by hundreds of Muslims, was lying naked on the road unconscious and everyone around her was smiling and applauding the bravery of the rapists. Even her neighbor did not have guts to defend her.

Now the ultimate happened, she was again dragged and taken to a nearby band saw and cut into several pieces alive. The blood had sprinkled all over the place making it red with stains. These pieces were hung at many places in the area. Blood was dripping from them staining the soil. Her blood had not only stained the land of Kashmir but the humanity had lowered to its maximum shame. It was something that no civilization has witnessed before. The tyranny was at its peak. A helpless solitary woman was torn to pieces after gang raping a helpless Hindu woman by the Islamic radicals.

They had not only humiliated a woman but shamed the whole humanity, its values and above all a teacher who has a place of God in the society. The devilish face of radical Islam was unleashed permanently.

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REMINISCENCE

Sanjay looked at his beautiful garden in front of his house. There were many fruit trees lined up along the short stone wall which ended up near the building wall at one end and elongated to make a periphery of the building joining the other end of the wall. This wall had crumbled at places but the stones had been kept in place randomly. One could see holes, at many places, possibly of some rats or snakes. Various trees lined up that small orchard. The almond tree, which had a nest on it, had blossomed with white and pink flowers. Although there were no leaves on the tree yet the flowers spread bliss of peace in that area. Actually the walnut trees sprout flowers first then the leaves appear after a week or so. Therefore the walnut tree had just started budding because the spring had fallen in. Very tiny leaves had begun to embrace the trees. There were other trees too which had started to show life with their green leaves. He would be lost in his dreams whenever his father told him how rich his ancestors were.

“They had a big land of their own, a farm land” he would say, “which was gifted by the king as a reward to him because he had saved his life from conspiracy.”

He would also tell him that they had innumerous wealth. People around the area would come to them for help whenever they needed any. He was always amazed to hear the stories of his ancestors and would be lost in the dreams after hearing them.

“Where have they kept the wealth?” was the obvious question which would come to his mind.

Whenever he asked his father about this he wouldn’t answer. Several times he had asked this to his father and one day he replied, “They have dug it somewhere in the house itself.”

Sanjay immediately questioned, “Where?”

It was such an answer that amazed Sanjay he wanted to know everything about the money. But his father told him that he himself did not know that. If he had known he would have dug that out and lived lavishly.

“But didn’t you try to search?”

“Yes I did, but was unable to make out where that possibly could be.”

Now it was the only thing that Sanjay had in his mind throughout his childhood. He thought about it for many days but couldn’t get the clues as to why they dug that into the house and if it was true where that could possibly be?

And then he asked again, “Why did they dig that rather than spending it?”

“Possibly, they wanted to hide that from the thieves.”

This thought was so mesmerizing for him that he would think of it round the clock during his childhood. These memories had dwindled long back but that day they had occurred to his mind suddenly.

He stood up and started to dig his small kitchen garden where he used to make beds for growing vegetables. Still at this age too he was thinking of that treasure ‘if he could find that how nice it could be.’

Suddenly, there was uproar outside on the road. This was not unusual it could be heard off and on because of the unrest by the separatist leaders who would ignite the minds of locals the take up arms and fight for the freedom of their land. It is very ironic that Kashmir once being a Hindu state centuries back had now been radicalized by the Islamic ideology. ‘Bands, stone pelting, gun fires and killings had become a part and parcel of the time.

This uproar had now stopped and he continued his digging and making beds for sowing vegetables. Although all types of vegetables were available in the market but he loved to grow them himself. The hard work that he would put to grow them gave him immense pleasure. Since he had enough of time with him after he came from his job, he tried to utilize that. While

most of the people of his age group engaged themselves in playing cards or gossips, he made himself busy with his kitchen garden. That doesn’t mean he was not social but he loved to watch his trees grow, which bore fruit and flowers. He had become so possessive for them that most of the time one could see him talking to them as if that was not the vegetation but his loved children. He too had some friends, most of them Hindus whit whom he would spend some time on special occasions. Do some chatting and political gossip. They would discuss the deteriorating situation prevailing in Kashmir where the Hindus were the worst affected. Most of his friends had decided to leave Kashmir if the situation was not controlled which seemed very distant in such circumstances. But he did not distract his mind as he loved the land where his forefathers had breathed their last breath. He thought it deceiving them if he left his homeland. Actually the main worry for him was as to what would happen to his ancestral house.

After coming from his job, he would eat some light food like snacks and a cup of 'Kehwa' (a type of green tea served in Kashmir which most of the Kashmiries love to have). Then he would go down to his small orchard and busy himself in attending to the flowery shrubs and the fruit trees. Most of its fruit was eaten by the children of his neighborhood, stealthily. They would not sometimes allow the fruit even to ripe and pluck and eat it. And Sanjay would show anger not from his inner self but superficially. He would shout at them and warn them not to do that again. Sometimes when they did not come or steal the fruit he would become sad and called them and asked if they were fine which created confusion among them. He actually loved such pranks of these children. He would remember his own childhood when he himself stealthily sneaked into the neighborhood plot and plucked unripe fruit and ate that. Sometimes he was caught in doing this and when asked why he did do this when there were so many trees in his own house, he would keep quiet. Later his father would give him a long lecture and advised him not to do that in future. But this thing would be repeated again and again and the elders too would love such pranks of the children.

Almost all the houses in the neighborhood had fruit trees but the children had a peculiar fascination for Sanjay's orchard. They felt that the fruit in Sanjay’s orchard was sweeter than their own fruit trees. They would sneak into his orchard and pluck the fruit during the day when Sanjay wasn’t there. Sometimes, he would see them plucking the fruit but did not disturb them till they were gone and his wife would ask him why he did keep quiet. And he would answer that he saw his own son in them. His wife didn’t say anything but would go away and weep.

Sanjay too had a son who lived in Bangalore in some IT company. He had grand children too. He would often visit his father whenever he got time before his marriage. But after his marriage, eight years back, he had curtailed his visits to Kashmir. The visits had been reduced to only once in two years and that too on the insistence of his mother who would weep on the phone and begged him to meet them. But he did not have any appertain with his father and mother probably because of his wife who did not like to be with his parents. So they lived separately and did not even communicate with Sanjay and his wife. Sanjay felt it very much. He would cry when alone but did not make any attempt to show his emotions. If anyone asked him about his son he would hide his emotions and very gladly tell them that his son was very anxious about them and he wanted them to live with them and settle there. But everyone knew he was lying and wanted to hide his sorrow, so none would try to expose his lie.

The house he lived in was almost a hundred and fifty years old. His forefathers had got it built. It had a typical Kashmiri architecture which had an influence of Muslim touch too. It was beautifully crafted with high quality wooden planks having floral carvings all over them. Balconies were built with very minutely skilled craftsmen, which had carvings on their planks, showed the grandeur of its ancestral owners. The small bricks used for building the house illustrated the magnificence of its past. The ceiling of each and every room had wood carving patterns. They would display beauty of the floral patterns that adored the walls of the house too.

It was the craftsmanship at its best. But now the design of patterns had started to dwindle on the walls and ceiling and at most of the places they had peeled off making it shabby over there. The bricks had been laid in such a way that a peculiar design could be formed. But these bricks had been repaired at many places because of the ruptures in the past and the patches of cement made a different outlook.

Sanjay loved his house not because that provided him with the shelter but the house had all the emotional fervor of his father, grandfather and all his ancestors. He felt as if they were alive in every corner of this house guiding him all the time. Many people had offered him money more than it was worth but he did not sell it. He felt that the house had blessings for him from his ancestors. His son too had many a time asked his father to sell it out but he had categorically told him that he was not going sell that, come what may, till he was alive. This was the emotional bond that had tied him to that house. The house needed repairing very urgently but Sanjay did not have much money to spare for this right then. The roof was leaking. At many places the wooden roof had cracked and the crevices allowed the rain and snow to rinse through them. Many a time he had thought of repairing that but the amount involved with it was beyond his reach. He had talked about it with his wife too who advised him to talk to his son to take some money. But he was not ready to do that as he feared that his son would take undue advantage in this regard and possibly, he would be forced to sell that. Then he approached some of his friends too but they suggested him to take loan from some trusted person to repair his house. This was a good idea he went to many money lenders but this too did not mature. One of his well wishers suggested him not to do any renovation as they may be forced to leave Kashmir because of the terrorism and in that case all the money will be wasted.

This was a genuine point. He was sure the situation will not prevail for a longer time. So he decided to wait for some time till he saved some money for this purpose. But he knew that whatever he earned were not sufficient enough to fill the gap. So he talked to his wife regarding that. She also had the same opinion as the situation in Kashmir was not favorable so they should not spend money to repair the house. But Sanjay could not believe in such thoughts that they would have to leave Kashmir. He would think if such situation arrived they would sell the house and go. So he approached some more lenders who could give him loan for this purpose. Some of them were ready to give money but they wanted something to be kept in lieu of the money as guarantee. Someone suggested mortgaging the house till the money was repaid. But he did not want to mortgage his house for fear of losing it. He was not able to decide what to do. Now this had taken a long time and there was no hope of any big cash coming his way and more over he had not been able to accumulate the cash needed for the purpose. The time was elapsing fast as the winter was approaching. This winter could cause serious damage to the roof if it was not renovated. So because of this he was always in his thoughts as to how the problem could be solved.

Then one day he decided to talk about it again to his wife regarding this matter. He asked her if they could sell the gold jewelry of his wife and do the repairing. She flatly refused to budge. It took him almost a month to persuade her and then finally she gave her acceptance on one condition that the jewelry would not be sold but mortgaged and that would be taken back as soon as possible. That day Sanjay had become very happy he had thanked his wife many times in his heart. He had felt that it was because of the blessings of his ancestors that he had been able to manage the funds needed to renovate the house. The next day he took all the jewelry of his wife and went to mortgage it.

The masons had been called and the work was started. The days passed and the house appeared to spread its grandeur in the area as the renovation work advanced further. The repair was done to the leaking roof. His wife was very fearful of her jewelry. She started to ask Sanjay frequently about when they were going to emancipate the jewelry. However most of the time there was no answer from him but when she reiterated her question he would only say ‘very soon’. Sanjay too did not know when it would be possible for him.

He decided to do some extra work after he came from his job. Luck came his way and he got that too. Now he had to spend more time in the evening with his new master where he had to maintain his account and do the entries of the day in a ledger, after he came from his office. Now there was less time for him to attend to his kitchen garden. Only on Sundays he could do whatever was possible.

The age also had started to show its effect and on the top of it the tension of the prevailing situation in the valley. The news of killings and bomb attacks had become news on television and radio. This was scaring. It had now become difficult for him to do such hard work. His wife too had started to show much concern and she also joined him. She would also save money as much as possible. They had started to curtail their food items that were costly. They would buy very low priced vegetables and other items that would be necessary for them to survive. After a long struggle of two years they had managed to save some money which could fetch them some of the items of the jewelry back. When he went to redeem a part of his jewelry he was refused by the lender to do so and was told that it could not be done in parts. He had to pay the whole amount due to him.

This was another jolt that weakened his courage. But his wife was adamant and she gave some solace by saying that they would work hard even more to achieve their goal. There seemed no end to the sufferings. His old bones ached and he moaned many times during the night. His wife understood the situation and felt that the hard work would definitely tell upon his health. She decided to talk to her son regarding the same. She told him everything how they had managed to get money by mortgaging the jewelry. And now paying back was costing them their health. She requested him to help them with some money so that they could get the jewelry back. But he told her that he could not do so as he did not have enough money to spare for this purpose. He even angrily scolded her as to why they did so. He suggested her to sell off the jewelry to the person and be free of the debt by saying that she would not need that because she had become old enough to wear the same. This was really a big setback for her. She had never thought that her son would answer her in such a manner. That night she couldn’t sleep. She only thought of her son when he was a little boy and how she fulfilled his every desire come what may. And now when she needed his help he had flatly refused.

Now the pressure from the money lender was building. He told that if they did not repay the loan he would sell their jewelry as he too needed the money. This was a big concern and worry for Sanjay. He did not tell this to his wife. He was afraid that his wife will be very sad to know this. He did not want to lose the jewelry at any cost as that may sadden his wife as she had also many emotions attached to it.

After a few days Sanjay got another offer to sell his house. This was more than he had been offered earlier. The buyer had told him to think over that and give him the final answer. He did not say anything. When he told his wife about this she too was not happy. She had always honored her husband’s wishes. She knew that her husband was very much attached to that ancestral house and that it would be a great injustice to his emotions. She refused and told Sanjay that everything would be alright in the days to come and she was completely with her husband. She also suggested him to sell off the jewelry as they had become old fashioned and get rid of the debt towards them. Sanjay could clearly see the wetness in her eyes when she was saying this. He could feel the love of the jewelry her wife had but felt that she was sacrificing that for her husband because she did not want to hurt him. She knew how concerned he was to get her jewelry back at any cost. She also knew how he loved his ancestral house in which his reminiscences were showing their gratitude for him that he had not budged to any of the offers to sell the precious house. For the first time in his life he had realized the love of his wife. He wanted to get the jewelry of his wife back so that he could also show her that he too was concerned about her emotions. But the big question was where the money will come from to get the jewelry back and both of them did not have the answer to that question.

Meanwhile the militancy had started to spread its wings in Kashmir. Killings, shootouts and stone pelting had become a common affair and people would not talk about it very often. Mostly there were strikes and closure of shops and transport. Most of the Kashmiri Pundits were fleeing leaving behind their houses locked. Announcements were made for Kashmiri Pundits to leave Kashmir. The situation was deteriorating day by day.

People had to face all the difficulties with regard to travelling and because the markets were closed off and on so it had become difficult for them to get things at ease. The policing had evaded and the administration totally failed. Everyone was left on the mercy of the order of militancy and these militants were guided by the mosques from where the decree came from. Sanjay was unable to decide whether he should leave Kashmir or remain there. He was only thinking of his newly renovated house for which he had suffered a lot.

Then a group of young people came to them and threatened them to leave the valley lest they might face serious consequences. His wife was so fearful that she began to cry. She told Sanjay that they had no option with them but to leave the valley. He told her that they would sell the house and get the jewelry back and leave Kashmir. He approached the person who had come to him with the offer to buy the house. But he said that he had changed his mind and told him that he had one more person who was probably interested in that and told Sanjay that he would come to him with that buyer the next day.

Next day early in the morning there was a knock on the door. Sanjay immediately stood up and opened the door in the hope that the buyer was there but he saw a group of people whom he had not seen before. They pushed him aside. Before he could understand the situation they began to vandalize the house throwing things here and there. He saw his wife was dragged out of her house by her hair. She was continuously crying for help. When Sanjay tried to help her he was pushed out of his house with a kick on his chest and he fell down. His head struck to the wall and a stream of blood started to come out. He begged to leave them but they had come for a different agenda to be fulfilled. Their masters, the separatists wanted each and every Kashmiri Pundit to be killed if he did not leave the valley. They wanted Kashmir to be an Islamic state. There was no one who could help this old couple. They were beaten up mercilessly and finally bullets were fired at them and both of them died just in front of their house.

Hours later a police van arrived and the dead bodies were taken to the hospital mortuary where they were left unclaimed.

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TYRANNY

Today another call for strike had been given by the separatists. This had become a daily routine now. No Tonga, no auto rickshaw and no busses were there on the road in the city and Lal Chowk being the centre of the Kashmir province was at its worst. If anyone defied the call for strike and tried to open his shop, he was ruthlessly beaten up. It seemed as if the valley had been ruled by the hooligans. All the shops had pulled their shutters down because of the call by a local Muslim radicalized political party in the wake of free Kashmir movement.

It was Friday and a good number of people were entering into the mosques not only at Lal Chowk but almost all major areas of the valley. People, mostly women and a few Pundits were seen walking towards their places of destination. A few two wheelers and many bicycles were also rushing towards their destination. There was an air of tense atmosphere clearly seen.

Shadi Lal, a local resident of Habbakadal, was also searching for a conveyance to reach his house. He had somehow managed to reach his office in the morning, but now there was no vehicle he could hire. He was desperately waiting there. He was not the only one there, there were many others sailing in the same boat.He could overhear someone saying that stone pelting was going on in the down town areas of the valley between police and the miscreants. Some shops of Pundits had also been looted by the angry mob. There was a rumor of someone being killed also. His curiosity grew and he wanted to know who he was. They were saying that it was probably a Pundit boy. Shadi Lal was scared. Not because the Pundit boy was killed but Pundits were the scapegoats all over. If there was a feud between the two Muslim families the temple was being vandalized. Every day one could hear some or the other Hindu boys being either killed or beaten by the mob usually after their Friday prayer.

A new trend had also started to take roots. After the Friday prayer stone pelting had become common. This had now become familiar for everyone to hear such news. Curfew had been imposed in many parts several times in the valley during the past few months. Sometimes one could see a few people pelting stones at the army vehicles. They would in no case retaliate unless there was any serious incident.Processions reciting the slogans of 'We want freedom, Pakistan Zindabad, Allah ho Akbar etc. were the most common slogans that would ignite the mob to resort to violence. They were very frightening for Kashmiri Pundits. Prominent leaders organized meetings and provoked the mob for violence with their hate speeches. The word Islam had taken a peculiar place in their speeches.

Some of the Hindu families had already vacated their houses taking most of their valuables with them. But Hindus still had no idea that the situation would turn so horrible that they had to flee for their lives leaving behind their centuries old legacy descended from their forefathers. In silent words Pundits would discuss the situations speculating some problem in future in closed doors. But still they had never thought of such a grave situation which would make them flee for saving their lives. They had become so fearful that they dared not discuss the matter with their Muslim neighbors. Every other Muslim was suspected a militant by the Hindus. It had become very common to hear that a Muslim boy in the neighborhood had joined Jihad and taken up the gun.

Shadi Lal was still searching for a vehicle desperately. Suddenly he saw a familiar figure who was his neighbor, a Hindu. He breathed a sigh of relief. He called him loudly and the person stopped and began to look to where the voice had come from and he saw Shadi Lal. He also was perhaps finding someone who could accompany him to reach his home. His wife had become very tense till he reached home.

Shadi Lal was a middle aged man who had a son and a daughter. He was working as a superintendent in AG’s office and was on the eve of his superannuation. He had spent all his life bringing up his family and educating his children.His son Pankaj was in America working as an engineer who would come every year to India to spend his holidays in Kashmir and a daughter Asha who was pursuing her studies. Pankaj had many a times reiterated his father to shift to America and spend the rest of his life with them. But it was his sister Asha because of whom they were held up. Asha had just touched eighteen and was preparing for her class XII examination. This was the main reason why they were held up in Kashmir.

Shadi Lal had not been very much interested in going to America because he wanted to spend his retired life with his few friends with whom he had always spent his leisurely time happily. All these friends would assemble at anyone’s house on Sundays. They would play cards, discuss politics and sometimes had a party also. They would buy a bottle of whiskey and enjoy.This was the main reason why he did not want to leave Kashmir. He thought he would not get such atmosphere anywhere in the world. But his wife had passionately insisted him to settle with their son. Mothers have a peculiar inclination towards their children. And Sarojani was not the exception.

Sarojani, this was the name of Shadi Lal's wife. She was very beautiful at this phase of her life.Most of the Hindu women of the area would come to her almost daily to have a gossip. It was the personality of Sarojani that would attract all these women to her. She was very excited because her son had asked her to come to America and live with them. This could be seen as it was always on her tongue whenever she talked to other women in her locality that she was going to settle in America with her son. She would also tell them that they had all the plans to shift to America but because of Asha's exams they had to wait. These gossips would last for hours together. And during that time she would utter America several times in her speech. This is not unusual with women; they become very excited by even thinking of foreign countries. She would proudly say to her friends that once her son asked her what she would like to get from America and she excitedly told her to bring a Banarsi Saree for her. For that her husband had jokingly said she could get that from India itself and there was no need to bring that from America. And it had become a joke for all in the family. She had become so elated that whosoever came to talk to her on any subject she would push America in her sentence.

Shadi Lal had become very worried about the ongoing situation in Kashmir. This thought would shiver him and he would feel cold sweat going down his spine. That night when he talked to his son on phone he expressed his urgency to leave Kashmir as soon as possible. He had told his son that the situation in the state had become so worse that it seemed they would be killed any time. The dread was so intense that Shadi Lal would sometimes not sleep a wink throughout the night. It was not him only all the Hindu families had the same fear. The newspapers were full of hate speeches of the Muslim leaders which ignited the emotional fervor of the radicals and fanatic Muslims.

Finally, the fatal day of 19th January 1990 arrived. The decree from the mosques was a final call for Pundits to leave Kashmir without their women folk. That day, for the first time, Sarojani had become very anxious about the safety of her family particularly her daughter. Shetold her husband to do something so that they too could leave Kashmir very soon and he had promised her that he would talk to some cab driver and they would all leave Kashmir. The situation had become so critical that there seemed no way out. Pundits were desperately leaving Srinagar to save their lives leaving all their belongings behind. He told his wife to keep ready the valuables and important things so that as soon as they get the cab they would rush to Jammu. This was the nearest destination where they would be safe. This

was the only alternative for Kashmiries so that they could start their life afresh in Jammu.Shadi Lal talked to many taxi drivers whom he either knew or through the contact in this regard but the things did not mature. Many a time he thought of talking to his neighbor who too had a taxi but could not muster courage because one of his son who had a few days ago gone missing and the rumors were that he had become a militant and had crossed over to Pakistan for training.

On the other hand his son, Pankaj, was putting pressure on them to leave Kashmir immediately whether they had to pay more amount for that and finally he was able to book a taxi with the help of one of his Muslim colleagues who had told him to be ready the next day.

That night Sarojani did not sleep throughout the night. For the past so many years she had added all these things saving money secretly and now she had to leave behind all this. All the preparations of this escape were made. They had to hide this from their Muslim neighbor too as the news of their escape may reach to the militants and they would probably be in some trouble. That night no one slept. Sarojani was continuously reciting Hanuman Chalisa and tears were there in her eyes. Anguish could clearly be seen on their faces and an air of panic, arousing in the environment, could easily be felt. This was not unusual but this was the deep apprehension of having a girl in their house. They were feeling as if they were not in their own land which their forefathers had left for them but they were held up in some Muslim country like Iraq or Somalia were non Muslims were killed in the broad day light and the killers would not fear at all, more so they were supported by the local people.

Local administration had totally failed. There was no security for any one with regard to his life. Threats for Hindus were published in news papers openly and the administration was quiet and ignored it as if nothing had happened. Hatred towards Kashmiri Pundits was spread from the mosques and all Hindus were seen as informers to the police by the militants. The police did nothing because ninety nine percent of the cops were from Muslim community.They were perhaps very sure of the independence they were talking of. They thought that the elimination of pundits would pave the way to their nefarious designs of separating Kashmir valley from the rest of the country.

When the taxi arrived they shifted the luggage into it. Shadi Lal sat on the front seat, his wife Sarojani was sitting on the back seat. The tension was so eminent that Asha was asked to crouch in the dickey and some luggage was spread on her so that she was kept hidden. The bag with the valuables like gold jewelries and some cash was kept under the seat. A chest with some clothes was tied to the stand of the taxi kept on the roof. And they finally asked the driver to proceed.

On reaching Lal Chowk they saw a big crowd of people with swords and sticks in their hands asking cars and taxies to stop. Searching them and doing all sorts of vandalism. There was no police man seen. Although it was still dark outside as the sun had not dawned the sky yet the search was on by these local Muslims for looting the fleeing Pundits. They stopped their taxi and asked Shadi Lal and his wife to come out. Shadi Lal tried to resist but he was dragged out of the taxi and they began to beat him. On seeing this, his wife Sarojani also came out to defend her husband but they did not stop. They beat Shadi Lal mercilessly and threw him there. He had almost become unconscious. When he came back to senses he called his wife who was not there. He ran here and there crying for help, calling continuously her wife but she was nowhere to be seen.The taxi driver told him that she had been taken by the hooligans and was probably kidnapped. He felt total darkness ahead of him. He began to wail loudly.

Then suddenly he thought of his daughter. He asked the taxi driver about her. The taxi

driver was perhaps a good person.He told him that it was wise enough for them to flee lest

he may lose his daughter too as she was yet safe in the dickey of the taxi. He couldn't believe his eyes what had happened. Crying loudly he boarded the taxi again and proceeded towards Jammu.

Everything had changed completely for Kashmiri Pundits.They too had to put up a camp set up by the administration at Jammu. It was miserable. Thousands of families had taken shelter in those camps. There was no sanitation, no water, no electricity and no means of food. Most of the families had lost their kith and kin in this ethnic cleansing. Every Pundit family was desperate in feeding their family. The most shocking aspect of this was that many of the families particularly old people had for the first time came out of the valley in their life. They were the most affected people.

Shadi Lal had just come from the PoliceCommissioner’s office at Jammu, to enquire about his wife’s whereabouts. He had been circumambulating the commissioner’s office regularly. There was no news of her where she was. Asha had also become very frightened. She had not talked for the past three days after reaching there from Kashmir. There was no one who could share their grief. Every Kashmiri Pundit family was destabilized and almost all the families had either lost their kith and kin or any of their near ones were missing.

Not only Shadi Lal but all those who had no news of their family members were wandering about desperately to know the news of their family members lost in the riots. Shadi Lal was still hopeful of hearing the news of welfare of his wife. Today he was going to meet one of his old friends who had told him that he would try to do something to locate her. He had not changed his clothes for the past three days as he did not have any more clothes. As he stood up he heard a voice calling his name from outside. He rushed out. A constable in civil uniform was standing there. He told him that a body had been recovered from the down town area of Srinagar from a ravine which resembled his wife. So he had to go with him to recognize the body in the photograph.

He began to shiver. Without wearing his slippers he rushed to the police station. He was shown the photograph which had been brought from Srinagar. He could barely see the photograph because this body was without the head. The head had been slit and the blood had been allowed to flow on her clothes. His wife Sarojani had worn the same clothes on that fatal day. He could not believe his eyes. Tears started to flow automatically from his eyes and he said, “This can’t be true. How can they do this to my wife? She hadn’t done any harm to anyone. Oh my God! Take me too, I don’t want to live.” And he began to wail. After a few minutes he stood up and walked out of the police station. He walked slowly towards the place where he was now putting up. There was someoneelse too who was also waiting to hear this news.

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पकवान

पकवानों का आनन्द त्योहारों पर जितना आता है उतना साधारण दिनों में नहीं आता। तरह तरह के पकवानों की झडी सी लग जाती है। कई बार, मेरी समझ में यह नहीं आता कि एक बार ही दो तीन दिनों तक ऐसे ऐसे भोजन खाने को मिलते हैं जिनका पता साल भर तक नहीं रहता है। पकवान इतने कि सप्ताह में यदि एक पकवान खिलाओ तो सालों बाद पकवानों को दोहराना पडेगा। इतने पकवान है भारत में। कुछ त्योहारों पर विशेश भोजन ही पकाए जाते हैं। कभी कभी तो त्योहारों की प्रतीक्षा करनी पडती है कि कब आए और फलाँ भोजन खाऐं। आज हमारे घर में भी विषेश भोजनों की सुगबुगाहट चल रही थी। घर में घुसते ही पकवानों की महक ने पेट को संदेश दिया कि भाई आज का दिन अच्छा होने वाला था।

जिस तरह की महक थी उससे लगता थामाँ ने मेरी पसंद काभोजन बनाया था। साथ में पराठे, दही, पकोडे और उसके साथ अखरोट-बादाम की चटनी। सुनने से ही मँुह में पानी आ रहा था तो खाकर क्या होता। खाने की महक ने तो मेरी भूख ओर बडा दी थी। मुझे इसके अतिक्ति ओर भी पकवानों की महक आ रही थी। ऐसा लग रहा था जैसे खीर भी साथ में हो। वाह आज तो मजा आ जाएगा। मन ही मन मैं पकवानों की दुनिया में टहल रहा था।

जब भी कभी ऐसा मौका आता था मेरे साथ कुछ न कुछ उल्टा पुल्टा होता था। और मेरी खुशियाँ लुप्त हो जाती। सारा मजा रफूचक्कर हो जाता। पर आज का दिन ऐसा लग रहा था कि अब ग्रह पलट गए थे। आज कोई गडबड नहीं हुई थी। इस के लिए मैं बहुत खुश था। मन में संतोष था कि चलो चैन से खना तो खा सकूँगा। भूख बहुत लगी थी।

वैसे भी दिन भर खेलने से भूख अधिक लगती है। और आज तो हम ने खूब खेला था दौड-दौड के खूब पसीनाबहाया था। दो दिन पहले ही परीक्षा समाप्त हुई थी ना। पढने के झंझट से छूट गए थे कुछ दिन के लिए। पूरा मोहल्ला शोरगुल से भर गया था। मोहल्ले में काफी सारे हम उम्र के बच्चे थे। और स्कुल के बाद खेलना ही हमारा एक मात्र उद्देश्य था। बडई से देसी तरीके से बल्ला व लकडी की गेंद बनवाकर लाते और खूब उत्साह से खेलते। खिडकियों में शीशे नहीं होने के कारण डर का कोई काम नहीं था। नंगे पाँव खेलते और मस्त रहते।

आज हमने क्रिकेट के बजाए एक नया खेल खेलने का मन बनाया था। चोर सिपाही वाला। वैसे उन दिनों तो बच्चों में यह काफी प्रचलित था। कुछ ओर भी खेल थे जैसे छूप्पन-छुपाई, गिल्ली-डंडा वगैराह, पर हम क्रिकेट ही ज्यादा पसंद करते थे। पर आज का सब का मत था चोर-पुलिस खेलने का। और यह भी तै हुआ था कि जब तक दोनों की बारी नहीं आती खेल समाप्त नहीं होगा चाहे दूसरे दिन फिर खेलना क्यों न पडे। हम, कुल छेः लडके थे, तीन पुलिस बने और तीन चोर। बडा मजा आया था आज के खेल में। कितनी ही बार हमने उनहें पकड कर बन्दी बनाया था। अब कल उनकी बारी थी। और वह हमारी धरपकड में लगेंगे। और हमें कैद करेंगे।

मेरे पेट में जैसे चूहे दौड रहे थे। बहुत भूख लग रही। मैं सोच ही रहा था कि माँ ने आवाज़ लगाई।बेटा खाना तैयार है। आ जाओ। इन शब्दों के लिए तो मेरे कान तरस रहे थे। मैं झट से उठा, खाना खाने के लिए हाथ धोने चला गया। मन में केवल पकवानों ही दृश्य चल रहे थे। नल के पास पहुँचा तो देख कर आँखें फटी की फटी रह गई।

यह क्या साबुन की टिकिया की जगह खीर की कटोरी। मुझे तो आश्चर्य हो रहा था। मन में विचार आया लगता है माँ अब बूढ़ी हो गई है यह खीर मुझे देने आई होगी और यहाँ रख कर भूल गई। पर जब करीब से देखा तो वह साबुन ही था। आज यह क्या हो रहा था मेरे साथ? जब व्यक्ति अधिक उत्साहित हो तो आँखें वहीं दिखाती हैं जो वह सोचता है। और मेरी बुद्धी तो आज खीर और पकवानों में दब गई थी। जहाँ भी देखो खाने की चीजें ही नजर आ रही थी।

मोन्टी,,,,,, मोन्टी। अचानक बाहर से दुर्गा आँटी की आवाज आई। मैं चैंक गया।

क्या बात है दुर्गा? मेरी माँ ने पूछ लिया।

बबलू अभी तक घर नहीं आया। यहाँ पर है क्या?उसने फिर पूछा।

नहीं तो। यहाँ तो नहीं है। कहाँ गया है?

यही तो मैं मोन्टी से जानना चाहती हूँ उसी के साथ तो खेलता है। दुर्गा ने कहा।

मेरे हाथ से साबुन छूट गया। लगा जैसे पाँच हजार वोल्ट का करंट लगा हो। मुझेे याद आया। अरे बाप रे वह तो अभी तक तहखाने मंे बंद है। खेलते-खेलते हम ने उसे बन्दी बनाया था। वह तो कई बार कहता रहा था कि उसे डर लग रहा है। पर खेल तो खेल था वह पकडा गया था तो बंदी तो बनना ही था। आखिर जेल में भी तो कोई होना चाहिए। अगर कोई केदी ही नही ंतो हम कहाँ के सिपाही थे।

फिर हम दूसरों को बन्दी बनाने के लिए चले गए थे तो उसमें समय ज्यादा लगने के कारण हम भूल ही गए कि बबलू तहखाने में बन्द है। अब मुझे तो पिताजी का गुस्सा दिखने लगा। आज तो पिटूँगा। यह सोचते ही।

मेरी भूख उड गई। अब क्या होगा? मैं भागा नीचे तहखाने की ओर। बिना बताए। माँ तो आवाज ही लगाती रही।

हमारा तहखाना एक बडा सा अन्धेरा कमरा था जिसके अन्दर जाने में तो दिन में डर लगता था और शाम होने पर तो कमजोर दिल वालों की भी घिघी बन्द जाती थी। एक तो उसमें अंधेरा रहता था और दूसरा उसमें मोटे मोटे चूहों ने भी अपनी काॅलोनी बनाई थी। बबलू तो एक छोटा बच्चा था। इतने अंधेरे में कैसे रह रहा होगा। मेरे तो पसीने छूट गए। धीरे से दरवाजा खोला और आवाज लगाई बबलू पर कोई जवाब नहीं आया। मैं घबरा गया। मैं खुद आगे जाने से डर रहा था। पर बात कंठों में फंसी थी। क्या करता डरते-डरते फिर आवाज लगाई। जवाब तो नहीं आया पर हलकी-हलकी सिसकियों की आवाज सुनाई देने लगी।मेंने फिर पूछा, बबलू, कहाँ है तू। बाहर आ जा।

कैसे आऊँ? तुम लोगों ने तो मुझे बाँध रखा है। मोन्टी !प्लीज खोलो मुझे डर लग रहा है। मोन्टी रोते हुए बोला।

मुझे कुछ दिखाई नहीं दे रहा है। मैं मोमबत्ती लाता हूँ। तू रुक। यह सुनते ही वह जोर जोर से रोने लगा।मैंरे पसीने छूटने लगे। कहीं किसी को सुनाई दिया तो जान आफत मेंआ जाएगी। मैं झट से बोला, अरे तू रोओ नहीं मैं ऐसे ही खोल देता हूँ। मैं हिम्मत करके टटोलते हुए उसके पास पहुँच गया। उसका षरीर गर्म हो रहा था। वह काँप रहा था। किसी तरह मैंने उसको खोल दिया। उसने जोर से मेरा हाथ पकडा। मैंने अंधेरे में ही उसको उस कमरे से बाहर लाने का प्रयास किया।

अब मुझे पिताजी का लठ साफ-साफ नजर आ रहा था। मैं इस से पहले कई बार पिट चुका था। क्या करूँ बच्चा हूँ ना। पिटना मेरी किस्मत का हिस्सा है। घर में कोई भी षरारत करे तो गुस्सा मेरे ऊपर उतर जाता था। घर में सब से बडा बच्चा जो था।

बबलू देख किसी को बताना नहीं। बहुत मार पडेगी।श् मैं खुद काँपने लगा था। देख कल तेरी बारी है ना, कल तुम मुझे बंद कर देना यहीं पर। कस कर बाँध देना यहाँ।मैं भी किसी को नहीं बताऊँगा। वह रोता रहा। मैंने फिर उसे लालच देने की काषिष की। देख बबलू, चल तू ही जीत गया। हम हार गए। उस समय हार-जीत आन बान और शान की निशानी हुआ करती थी। अपनी ष्षान बचाने के लिए हम कुछ भी करने को ततपर रहते थे। पिटने से बचने के लिए इतना बलिदान अति आवशयक था।

सच कह रहा है ना। यह सुनते ही मेरी जान में जान आ गई। सोचा बच गया अब कम से कम खाना तो ठीक से खा पाऊँगा।

चल-चल जल्दी कर तेरी माँ आई है तुझे लेने।

हम ज्यों ही तहखने से बाहर निकले मुझे दरवाजे पर पिताजी खडे दिखे।ऐसे समय पर पिताजी का आगमन यह मेरे लिए दंर्भाग्य पूर्ण था। तुम यहाँ पर क्या कर रहे हो। इतने में मेरी माँ को आते देखा तो वे उनसे कहने लगे। यह दोनों यहाँ क्या कर रहे हैं। बस उनका इत्ना कहना और बबलू फूट पडा। अंकल जी मुझे इसने यहाँ बंद कर दिया था। और वह रोने लगा। इससे पहले कि उसकी माँ उससे कुछ कहती मेरे पिताजी ने मेरी माँ से कहा,मैंने तुम्हें हजार बार कहा यह नालायक है। बबलू इससे आठ महीने छोटा है। ऐसे कोई बंद करता है क्या भला। इसे कुछ हो जाता तो? भाभी जी आप बबलू को ले जाओ मोन्टी को मैं देख लेता हूँ। आज इसकी ऐसी खबर लूँगा कि बूल जाएगा शरारत करना।

पिताजी खोफनाक आखों से मेरी तरफ देख रहे थे। मेरा खून सूख गया। मेरी हिम्मत नहीं हो रही थी उनकी ओर देखने की। पिछली बार जब पिटा था तो एक सप्ताह तक बैठ नहीं पाया था। अब की बार तो लगता है जान ही चली जाएगी।

और पिटा भी बहुत। देर रात तक अपने गालो को सहला रहा था। घर में कोई भी मेरा हाल तक पूछने नहीे आया ।आज मुझे पिटने का इतना दुख नहीं था (वह तो मैं लिखवाके ही लाया था) जितना कि मेरे मन पसंद खाने का जायका बदल जाने का था। किसी ने भी यह नहीं कहा कि मोन्टी खाना खाले। माँ ने भी नहीं।

मैं तो यही सोचता रहा कि मैंने किया क्या था। आखिर भूल किससे नहीं होती? फिर मैं तो अभी बच्चा था। कम से कम खाना तो ढंग से खिला देते।

हर बार मेरे साथ ही क्यों होता है ऐसा?

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